To be or not to be (an all-rounder dancer)

As probably evident from the content of this blog (and the title) I'm primarily a ballet dancer. I do contemporary as well and at school I take dance as a subject and I'm in the performance company. But at school every now and then I find myself having to attempt some other styles of dance. The other morning during rehearsal we were learning "All that Jazz" from Chicago with the original Bob Fosse choreography for a performance in a few weeks. Anyone who is familiar with his choreography knows it's bent knees, on the balls of the feet, hips parallel with lots of movement of the hips and it's very sensual. My part of the piece had main focus on the hip rolls and because I've never done this style of jazz before it was quite alien to my body. My teacher was going through them with us but then even though I was getting the hang of it she singled me out and was all "I'm putting you in another part of the dance I don't have time" and the girl that replaced me did them no better than I did. Ugh. Even though the part I'm in now is actually slightly better I was annoyed that I was singled out and made to feel inadequate. This is not the first time this has happened in this class either. I wonder if  the roles were reversed and we were learning a difficult Balanchine piece and all the jazz girls didn't know their plies from their pirouettes would the teacher treat them the same way? Most definitely not. Because ballet is rarely performed in schools and the like because of the specific difficulty of the art form.  And also I feel there is often a bit more hierarchy in that class then I really care for, and I seem to cop the brunt of it, no matter how hard I work.

But the reason I've brought this up is because it has made me wonder maybe I should stop using ballet as an excuse for being crap and broaden my horizons from just ballet and contemporary. To me, dance is dance and I actually really enjoy all aspects of it, and it's great to be able to do this, it's boring if you only focus on one style!  So maybe some jazz classes might be taken sometime in the future! I've also actually never taken a tap class in my life so that's also on my bucket list!

So dance at school has been hard on me these past few days, I'm not going to lie! I hope you're on the other hand are going well!

What to do when your schedule decreases

So I did my exam last week! I really hope I went well, now it's time to wait anxiously for the results!

However, this exam session has meant that a whole lot of people (including myself) move up a level, but I've got myself in a situation where normally I would take the next level up but because the girls in the level above me (Adv. 1) are now all in Adv.2 there is no Adv 1 class and Adv 2 would be too difficult. So now my schedule has dropped from 5 days a week to 3 (which still isn't that bad, I'm grateful I have that opportunity). I know that this is probably the best time for me to spend less time on ballet and more on studying but it is a little hard to get used to.

I think you should always try to take any class you can before accepting a not-so-hectic schedule. Ask your teacher if there are any classes from the level above (great challenge!!) or even the level below (focus on technique!!) you can take. Believe me, I thought of every class I could take, even the adults class which is mainly the mum's of my classmates and is allegedly very basic! But there was nothing I really felt comfortable taking.  In my mind, taking an adults class is a great way to work on my technique, but when I really think about it, I felt I would be intruding on the class, or somehow demanding my teacher's attention when she is trying to teach the basics to first time dancers. I really don't know. So then I tried to find classes from other studios to take. If you can afford to do this, and travel is not a big issue then it is a good idea, because it's a solution for anyone who doesn't have access to a studio with amazing schedules! But I of course with me, doing this would be expensive and too much hassle!

But I know so many people have trouble affording the dance schedules they desire. If your ballet schedule is not that busy, that means you have more time for a job and if you save up, then maybe the following year you can increase your classtime! Remember there's no time limit, don't go all "But I have to train insane NOW to make up for lost time" like I did! If you really love to dance, you'll find a way to incorporate it in your everyday life, whether it's class or cross training (pilates! it's my fave) and stretching at home! So that's how I'm looking at it, I'm saving money so after I finish school I would love to focus on dance and working in a part time job for awhile before I head off to uni!

I write a lot about these sort of topics in this blog, maybe I should focus more on quality of training and not quantity! But in my defence, it is very relevant in my dance life, this learning to accept what I can get. Last year I had freak out over freak out because I would read certain ballet forums who tell me that anything less than a pre-professional school is 'insufficient' training and I would follow these pre pro students on Instagram and I would feel the need to be like them. Ballet was the escape from some pretty icky things going on my life so I held it in such high regard and just HAD to do it all the time!

But now I know that there's nothing much I can do about it at the moment. I'm pretty sure next year the schedule will fall into place for me a little better!

Don Quixote!

Last Friday was my birthday, and on Saturday, my dad was kind enough to take me to see the Australian Ballet's Don Quixote at the Sydney Opera House!

The performance was incredible, my eyes were glued to the stage the entire time! I was not very familiar with Don Q before Saturday, I didn't really know what to expect. However from the start  I fell in love with the mixture comical aspects and the magical/classical dancing. If you ever get the chance to see a production of Don Q, I would surely recommend!  

I have to say, seeing a live production of a major company is really inspirational, because the next class I took was a really good class, maybe I was channeling my inner Kitri?

Snippets of the program

Dinner at the Opera Bar just before
the performance, spaghetti and champagne!

Sorry, this post is later than I wanted, I did mean to post it earlier! On another note, I've started doing cardio (30 min treadmill, 10 mins spin) and pilates (about 40 min) to get into shape for next week's exam. I'll see you then with a post on how I went! Hope you're all well!

You only need to be better than yourself!

Dancers often tend to develop quite competitive nature over time. When your body and physical ability is being examined more then most people would feel comfortable with, it's hard not to let your ego get in the way of why we started dance in the first place. I know I have many times!

I have to say, one of the main forces for my said competitiveness are the 'naturals', in particular the naturals who don't appear to work as hard, or just don't have the passion I or my other classmates have. This sounds very conceited, but I'm sure many dancers can relate. Not many other things are as discouraging as someone doing seemingly nothing and yet getting more recognition. 

I mentioned briefly in one of my hastily written summer school posts the girl with so much drive but surprisingly little technique. My heart broke for her, because she worked so hard but didn't end up getting a solo for the end of week demonstration. But we were so in sync, because not many other people are in the same situation as me, and have such similar views on ballet as I do! The thing I admired most though is that she obviously had such a passion for it, and that's why we dance isn't it?

The thing is, no one is working from the same tools, meaning human bodies are not all the same blank canvases. Someone may just have better turn out, feet, flexibility or the ability to pick up combinations! That's why goal setting is so important, it reminds you of what you have achieved! It's also important not to set time limits for yourself based on others, set time GOALS but if you don't achieve that goal within say 2 weeks or whatever then that does not mean you are not good. I'm sure you've read countless things on accepting your body and abilities, but accepting yourself is such a fundamental thing to do in order to get the best out of dance! 

I hope you're all well and you all enjoy your Easter break! We seem to be suffering from an elongated summer over here, ugh I hate this hot weather ruining my favourite season! I just want to bust out the ridiculous amount of warm-ups already! Also, my ballet exam is literally almost a month! I went to a rehearsal on Sunday and I was fine beforehand but as soon as I walked in and had to practice introducing myself to the examiner I got so nervous and it all just dawned on me OH GOD!!

Not sure where I should go with this blog.

Sorry I haven't written a post in a shameful amount of time! Truth is though, I have rather mixed intentions of what my content should be about! I'm still keeping track of my corrections and what not, but I do so by scribbling notes in a journal I take around with me. Doing things purely with technology obviously wasn't working for me so I decided to rep it old style!

However I decided that simply not posting is not going to help me decide what content this blog should produce, I think I need to continue experimenting to see what fits.

So while that happens, I might just give a quick update! One of my goals for the year was to pass my Grade 6 exam, and I will be taking it in the last week of April! At this point in time, I am not nervous, instead I am rather excited! Before I do my exam, I'll turn 18, which is quite an alien concept, to actually be an adult. I still feel like I need to grip onto my childhood (especially being a late starter in ballet and wanting to be perceived as younger than I am to blend in) but now I look forward to beginning this new chapter of my life. I've stopped hushing my classmates when they try to discuss how old I am ("ancient" has also been used to describe me. They're 3 years younger then I am) and started to embrace it! I had no trouble excitedly claiming to my contemporary teacher "I'M 18 NEXT MONTH OMG WHAT?!?!"  and I'm sure my ballet teacher will soon be hearing about it as well!

I'm looking forward to the coming months, this year has been pretty good so far, I'll will try to post often, even if at the moment it is just updates like these!

Ballet vs. Life

This is a very scary year for me, being my last year of high school. Where I live, a lot pressure is put on students doing their HSC exams. When you realise that passing every subject can often still mean you don't receive a high enough mark for University strikes terror for most students. It's a pretty big year. And I start to wonder how much time and money I should be investing into ballet.

I've written a post touching on this briefly before, but every now and then I have a small freakout and think I should be doing over 20 hours a week. But not only is it difficult to obtain a mere 10 hours a week in my situation ( meaning my location and level of training coupled with age) but it's expensive, in terms of money as well as time.

Then I tell myself to chill and just go with what I can get. The girls in my class don't do more than I do. But I can't help but want to take as many classes as possible following the 'make up for lost time' philosophy. Part of me wants to take this new adult class that my teacher is offering to work on breaking some bad technique habits, but the other part is telling me I may just not belong or it'll be too basic or I don't know.

In contrast, part of me wants to attend the advanced pointe class so I can do more pointework, however the other thinks it'll be a breeding ground for bad habits.

Many people are suffering from having to choose between friends and ballet. However my issue is choosing between having money or ballet. I have to choose between ballet or part time work. Ballet or having a car. Ballet or saving up to move out. Ballet or having lots of nice clothes. It's hard to find the middle ground.

Off to Summer School!

The regularly scheduled Sunday ballet babble is not going to be too fascinating, as I'm leaving for Summer School in about in hour. Classes start tomorrow, wow!

I will however do a quick update tomorrow about how my first ballet class in too-long-of-a-time went, and if I can adapt my stretch routine to my new surroundings and schedule.

Goals for this week:
-concentrate on relaxing my upper body, using my back in port de bras
-practice and focus on releve-passes en pointe
-do the splits at some point everyday
-get back into focusing on my back flexibility, doing the exercises everyday
-take note of corrections and work on applying them

Bad photo, but all packed and ready to go!

Dance Wear On a Budget

We all know how expenses build up when you're a serious dancer. And the high prices of dance wear doesn't help. So here's just what I do so save money when buying dance wear!

I buy almost all of my leotards from America on Ebay. Even though it does take about 2 weeks for them to arrive, the shipping prices are reasonable and the actual prices of the items are low, so all up it costs significantly less then to buy one off the rack here in Australia. But one thing you certainly have to be wary of is that you know the brand of the leotard. I wouldn't recommend buying a no-name brand leotard, because in my experience, so matter how good it looks in pictures, the quality/fit of the leotard is not good. If it's Bloch/Mirella, Capezio/Harmonie, Sansha etc. then go ahead. You can always look up the brand if you're not sure. The only exception to this would probably be tights, just because the no name brands seem to work fine with me. I also like to look up the style number if it's provided to get possibly some other images of the product and sometimes look at the sizing chart if I'm not sure. I've discovered that I'm a medium in camisole leotards, and a small in cap sleeve/tank leotards. But if I'm really unsure, I'll get a medium, that way if it's to big I can take it in to make it fit without having to send it back.

Also keep in mind, some sellers don't accept returns, so if they don't, double check to see if this is really what you want to purchase! I made that mistake when I brought some tights, and didn't realise they were 'ballet pink' and not 'theatrical pink' like I prefer. I received them, then went to see if they accepted returns and they didn't.

Please, never buy pointe shoes from ebay, or any online store if you are new to pointe. This should be self-explanatory. If you do buy flat shoes, it is essential you know the brand is good quality. Again if it's Capezio, Bloch etc. and you've worn that style before and you know what size you are in that style then that's fine, but no no-name brand shoes! It's harder to return shoes because you need to wear them in class to know if they fit properly or not. Once you've worn them in class, they're not refundable.

Some things you need to save up for and spend the money on. Some things are cheap for a reason! Just learn how to know how to buy good quality items and save money at the same time, and know what can be brought online and what can't!

Honesty

This post is going to be a little different, however it is something I was up at 3am last night thinking about, and I want to write about because even if I don't have an audience, this is something I need to remind myself of every now and again.

One of the things I'm most insecure about is my age coupled with my level. I haven't been doing ballet consistently since a young age and often I feel like I'm the only one who is as driven as I am is in the same situation. But I'm not. I'm not going to be a professional classical dancer. I may not even make some sort of career out of this. All I can do right now is work as hard as I can at this point in time. I get told on forums that my schedule isn't sufficient. But it is difficult to acquire a  schedule that is 'sufficient' (i.e daily 1.5 hr classes, daily pointe classes plus variations, comtemporary etc. total of like 15-20hrs a week) in my situation. I live away from the city and I go to an already good studio, it just doesn't have the pre-pro schedule. I'll be overjoyed if I manage 10 hrs a week over 4-5 days a week. Even if I only do like 7 hrs a week. I'm in my last year of high school, my education is my main priority now.

I can go away into the city and do full time ballet for a week or so during the breaks, but I have to keep my schedule modest during the school terms, because I need to be focused on my studies so I can do well in my HSC and go to University. That's the reality of it.

Because I've started 'late', when I compare myself to others I feel really bad because I forget that I only been at it for 3 years. I feel like I should be at their level, otherwise I'm not 'good'. But I have the passion and the love for ballet, and I work as hard as I can. But someone who's older and who doesn't have the muscle memory/naturally flexible body of a young child who works as hard as she can for 3 years cannot physically attain the same result as someone her age who's been working as hard as she can for 10 years. So all I can do is work as hard as I can right now. Look forward to the future, don't regret the past.

I don't like the term late starter. Because unless you're Misty Copeland and started when you're 13 and became a professional, you're not late for anything. Most people who study ballet don't become a professional dancer. Even those who have been studying it since they were young. It's never to late to dance because you love it. We all know that. But it's also never to late to dance and become good. I'm sure whenever the topic of 'late starters' arise, Vanessa Sah from the Anaheim Ballet Youtube channel pops up instantly. She's not a professional, but she started when she was in college, and she's a good dancer. She may not be at a professional level, but she still trains hard. And because of this she inspires me. I hate the idea that you can only be a good dancer if you train at a pre-professional level. There is such a thing as serious yet recreational. You don't have to succumb to training once or twice a week just because you can't be a professional. If you love to dance but can only do it 4 times a week, you can still be a good dancer. There is no time limit, work as hard as you can and progress in your own time.

I started this blog so I can set goals and track my progress. It's working and it motivates myself to work hard , because I'm tracking my progress. I have to remind myself the little things and the big things I've achieved after only 3 years of ballet. I have to remind myself why I dance in the first place. I dance because being connected to movement and having my mind completely focused is so therapeutic. My friend said once "Some people have therapy, I have dance".

You need a pre-professional schedule and life to be a professional. But you don't need it to dance.